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warpedrealityjl
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Emily. 17. Middle of a field in jolly Welsh Wales. Angsty. Chipper. FriendswithClairethemagnificent. Talented. Strange. Obsessive. Describing words thought of by said Clairethemagnificent.
♥Dominic Monaghan♥ and ♥Billy Boyd♥ Slash. ♥Monaboyd♥ Pizza. Hustle. The Lord of the Rings. Lost. Home. Writing. Singing. Photography. Films. Film Studies. Moulin Rouge. Eddie Izzard. Cats. Foreign Films. Good food. Friendship. Love. Angst. Orlando Bloom- hey Monaboyd fans don't yell at me! He's kind.
Homophobia. George Bush. Nuclear weapons. Spiteful people. Bullying. Abuse. Conservative party. People who try to convert me or make me conform. English Literature. Prejudiced teachers. Prejudice. Sexism. Racism. Emotional Blackmail. Cancer. World Debt. Poverty. Cliff Richards. Richard and Judy. Mel Gibson.
Brushes from V-brush. Fonts from Da-font. 'The Bitch Goddess Notebook' is a novel by Martha O'Connor. Read it! It's fantastic. Journal art and graphics made by me. A huge thanks to Clairethemagnificent for coding all of this for me! You have no idea how much I appreciate it, hun.
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[14 Jan 2006|07:03pm] |
Ok, new journal? Anybody care? It's under the cut.
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[14 Jan 2006|05:35pm] |
The layout is gone, thankyou for the compliments in the past- the graphics were mine, the html was someone else, and we both got good credit for it so thankyou.
This is an entry to let everyone know I'm starting a new journal, because I really need to make a fresh start, this has been mine for a year- that makes sense to me, journals are meant to last a year, and I've just made some very big changes, I need a new journal where I don't feel the need to censor myself, or stick to a certain way of being, you know? Probably stupid, but it feels necessary to me.
This one won't be deleted, it's too important as an archive for that, I'll make sure it stays here, I'm just going to be updating somewhere else. I'll post later with the name and a link, for anyone who's interested.
Love to the ones who love me :* And a happy new year
Em
xx
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| Lyrics of the month. |
[12 Jan 2006|04:19pm] |
Hehehee. I love this song at the moment. The lyrics are seeming very appropriate to various things. I have no idea why. Well- I do know why. But.. hehehe. Enjoy:
"Little Bitch"
The Ordinary Boys
( Read more... )
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| My year! |
[26 Dec 2005|03:02pm] |
1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Spent more than a day without talking to my best friend. Applied to universities. Fantasised about a man above
the age of 50 O.o
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
New Years resolutions. Hah. I gave up on those when I was about eleven. lmfao. They never, ever stick. But I
guess if I was going to make one for the next year it would be stop being self conscious, and stand my ground all
of the time, not just when it gets to the stage where I truly need to. Be Honest. And think rationally about things
instead of panicking. Also- write more, aswell as rping.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Can I count one of my boys as close to me? Well, they're close to my heart, so I guess yes. Cillian's baby son was
born four weeks ago, Malachy. And my aunt is pregnant again, due April.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My uncle Morris, and my auntie Connie (different sides of the family). :(
5. What countries did you visit?
England. Every college day since last Christmas!
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
Self confidence, better work ethic, respect (for me),.. Dom, Billy, Cillian and David? They would all be nice,
preferably delivered to my bedroom, preferably all at the same time.
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 2nd because I screamed at the tv and cried ecstatically for a friend who deserved it. September 28th
because I saw 'On a Clear Day'. The day 'Lost' came out over here (I so wish I could remember the date). Some
days I wish I could forget but know I won't. The day I checked UCAS track to find an offer from my top choice
university. The day of the last ever Little Britain episode. Exam results day. Lots of days, really... I tend to get
alot etched on my memory, like random conversations and glances accross the classroom. No point listing them
all. But oh! Meeting Gary!! He's way too hot.. And that brings me back to admitting my Cillian obsession,
and then embracing a fledgling David obsession (can people please stop believing the crappy tabloids??) a
few weeks ago with open arms. The David and Matt south bank show, omg. He's an angel, lmfao, in a very camp
way, I adore him, and I saw the contents of his fridge! That's so weird and so brilliant, lol.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Exam results, successful uni applications, coming to terms with some things I've not been able to come to terms
with before, working at friendships. Watching 28 Days Later without covering my eyes once! Does that count?
Heh-heh. Getting the highest in my year at film studies coursework. Getting full marks on my Classical Civilisation
exam.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Getting a 'B' in film studies because of a bad exam, when I know full well I deserve an 'A'. Resitting it in three
weeks time, and I plan to raise that mark fully and completely.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
When do I not suffer illness? Yes, my immune system hit an all time low, and I've developed dairy sensitivity. Plus
the voices returned a bit, so I guess that might count as illness, lmfao. Emotional injury.. yes. But no physical
injury *touch wood*.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
This laptop.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Oh God, lol. Uhm.. alot of my friends, Dom for being so real, Evie for making him happy, Billy for being Billy
and helping so much with current issues, Viggo for speaking out about the things he believes in, Neil Jordan for
making the films he wants to make and raising two fingers to the critics, Ang Lee for directing a breakthrough in
modern cinema, Cillian (you knew it was coming, lol) for basically.. just an amazing year, with 3 amazing films with
amazing reviews and always being down to earth, never ending up in the tabloids and remaining faithful to the
people he loves and his life before fame. David for ignoring the tabloids and being himself, and both him and Matt
for quitting while they were ahead.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled?
Ken Russel. George Bush. Certain people I know. American critics. Chavs. People protesting outside peoples
weddings. The British tabloids.
14. Where did most of your money go?
DVDs. Seriously, I bought way, way too many this year.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Christmas.. lmao. Lost. On a Clear Day. New series of Little Britain. Cillian becoming a dad. Some films I saw
excited me and stayed with me for ages- 28 Days Later, Disco Pigs, interMission, Girl Interrupted, The Crying
Game, Citizen Kane, Rebel Without a Cause was really slashy, 'If....', A Hard Days Night because I'm sad like that,
Urban Ghost Story, Downfall.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2005?
So many, this year has been the fullest of my life. My crowd is in the video for Coldplay's Fix You, and you can
see me for about three seconds, so definately that. Lightening Seeds- Pure. Missy Higgins- Scar. The
Proclaimers- I'm Gonna (500 miles). Cillian Murphy- So new. Simon and Garfunkel- Sound of Silence. The Beatles-
Money Can't Buy Me Love. I don't know who sung it, but 'I can see clearly now', because of Rock Profile, lmao.
The Pet Shop Boys- Liberation, because of David. Driveshaft- You All Everybody. And many, many more..
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner. YAY!!
iii. richer or poorer? Not really any different.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I'm pretty happy with my year. Not alot of regrets. I wish I'd been more honest about my feelings with people. But
that's not going to change, I don't think, lol.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Nothing really, I'm happy, lmao.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home with my mum and dad, calm, relaxed.
21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
With two extra people, and also someone else who's not in the public eye! Lol, I fall in love to often.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Lost. Little Britain. Casanova. Weeds. The Simpsons. Futurama. Friday Night with Jonathon Ross. Jack Dee live at
the Apollo.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Ken Russel. Abi Titmuss. Lmfao.
24. What was the best book you read?
I didn't really read enough, but I guess The Hitchhikers Guide.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery of 2005?
Alkaline Trio. And The Pet Shop Boys. lmfao.
26. What did you want and get?
Laptop!
27. What did you want and not get?
Sex, lmfao, but oh well.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh God, loads, I'm quite easily captured. Disco Pigs, interMission, The Crying Game, Breakfast On Pluto,
Trainspotting, On a Clear Day, 24 Hour Party People, 28 Days Later, This Is Spinal Tap, Rock The Blind, Pulp
Fiction, Citizen Kane, Moulin Rouge, Kingdom Of Heaven despite the mainstream factor.
29. What did you do on your birthday?
Relaxed!
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Sex with Dom, Billy, Cillian and David wouldn't have gone amiss. Hee.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
*Shrug.* No that is literally how I would describe it, shrug, lol. I go through phases. I had boho glamour,
hippy, not-caring, and pretty feminine.
32. What kept you sane?
Writing with friends. Randi. Claire (most of the year :P). Jan. Katy. Sam, omg, my Sammy *hugs him for keeping
me from going utterly mad*
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
There's four.. lmfao, I have said their names about five thousand times, but let's go again. Dominic Monaghan, Billy
Boyd, Cillian Murphy, David Walliams. And David Tennant's not bad, either..
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay Marriage.
35. Who did you miss?
My best friend when we weren't talking, Lee who joined the TA in September, Tracy, and my Grandpa.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Randi. :)
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005?
Be willing to take risks, and trust in new things.
I'm going to answer the last question "Quote song lyrics from your year", in a different LJ post later, because
frankly I don't have time right now, lol. Quiz nicked from Claire who nicked it from.. whoever.
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| Angsty/Funny Little.. Thing. |
[21 Dec 2005|09:45pm] |
Title: This is Rambling.
Rating: I donno.. PG-13, maybe.
Synopsis: A black comedy type thing in the form of a musing letter to not-really-anybody by David Walliams (only not really), written in third person.
Warnings: Angsty, kinda.
A/N: This is very strange, and I really don't have much idea where it's from, it tumbled out of my fingertips and into the keyboard, and I really hate Abi Titmuss (as you may gather), especially since she smushed my David.
Disclaimer: Not real, written by a student with nothing better to do, no offence meant, please don't sue. David if that's you (hah, I wish) I'm sure you're really very happy, I'm just responding to things I read about your everyday life and making another David who's a wee bit like you and has the same name. NO OFFENCE MEANT TO ANYONE except perhaps Abi Titbitch.
--
( Read more... )
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| Well! One and a half months on.. |
[19 Dec 2005|11:43am] |
And an eventful one and a half months it has been.
Bloody hell. Change- lots of change, it's like the world change crisis, except I have yet to decide whether this change is bad or liberating or just plain.. change.
So.. here's a nice little (probably going to end up kind of long..) list of events.
( Read more... )
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| Ok. I'm at home. I'm ill. I'm bored. |
[09 Nov 2005|01:00pm] |
And the pictures grabbed me by the tits (I had to think of a female equivalent for 'grabbed me by the scrotum'.. that was the closest I could get without being all 'ew'). Also in celebration of the birth of Cillian's son! Very recently (I can't say exactly how recently, but within the last week). By his wife (the really good artist, who's work I will be showing at the end of this entry) Yvonne McGuinness.
Cillian Murphy
1. 2. or 
Feel free to take, pictures from a Cillian fansite which I found last night and delighted in and have now lost *sobs*.
And as for Yvonne's art.. it's really, really great, and by great I mean wonderful and that is not sucking up to Cillian- as I would love to be able to hate her- but.. man. Amazing (imo, anyway, though I'm not sure how it could be not be seen as wonderful). Under the cut.
( Read more... )
Those are just two pieces. I'm still looking. I think they're gorgeous, myself.
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| Because I'm a caring, sharing kind of person... |
[05 Nov 2005|11:33am] |
Lovely Cillian icon, nabbed from Shannon on the forum at Cillian Online, ironic considering the rest of the film, but bloody lovely. I always wish I knew how to do these:
Beaaautiful.
And then- though I am not an Orlando Bloom fan- this background is so wonderfully arty, I just had to share. Clicky clicky. Credit goes to Roxy Fusion of the ob files for making it, and my darlingly obsessed Claire for showing me.
S'it for today, folks! Except you really need to check out this site. It's the official site for Cillian's upcoming film- 'Breakfast On Pluto' in which he plays an Irish transvestite cabaret dancer struggling through the 60s and 70s (Patrick "Kitten" Brady). There are clips from the film at the opening of each page on that site- I highly recommend watching them, they load automatically, don't click 'skip video'. *hums 'how much is that doooggy in the windoooow, the one with the waggely taiiil'*. Here's a sneak peak of how scarily good he looks as a woman. Especially when one is bi and either are hot. Mmmmh.
1, 2, 3, and then this one is just hot slashy goodness.
The man wears lipgloss like he was born for it. *Purrrr*
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| Cillian Murphy Icons Batch #1 *grin* |
[03 Nov 2005|06:02pm] |
Because he's so damn hot and he snagged me and now I've become obsessed in a matter of days, days people! (GWAPE finally did it to me, omg the sex scene, oh my god the sex scene, *smacks Scarlett* what the hell are you doing lusting after Colin bloody Firth girl!? Cillian (Pieter) is hotter, nicer, and more considerate!! ARGHHH. Heroine's annoy me. lmao.) Anyway. Oh and for the record- I am well aware none of these, and infact rather few of my icons, have words- this is not because I am dumb, inable, or unartistic, this is because I do photography in my spare time and when I make icons covering them up with words seems.. odd, somehow, love when other people do it- don't really like doing it myself unless something grabs me. I prefer to frame a moment, or a feature, and fiddle with contrast and lighting until it captures me. If you don't like it.. that's fine, it just bothers me when people are snobbish against people who simply capture a moment rather than writing all over it. Took me a while to get past feeling like my icons weren't actually real icons, but now I know- they are, they're just different. (Obviously, I'm not the only one who doesn't put words on, I'm just putting myself forward and saying 'but I like it that way').
And onwards!
Teasers
 
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| On the topic of Marmite. |
[01 Nov 2005|12:05pm] |
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My cat really likes Marmite. *is ever so proud of her*. Like- REALLY likes Marmite, she's 13 years old and it sends her silly, she bit my finger off in the process of licking some off. Ok.. so she didn't, but the thought was there!
Which begs the question, and a survey for my pathetically bored mind. Please post here (if anyone can actually be bothered) on whether you LOVE marmite, think it's OK, or HATE it. Let's see if the advertising is true -.- heh heh heh! Your lj name will be added to whatever list appropriate ^_^. Oh- marmite is also I guess in other countries 'yeast extract' but milder, and 'vegemite'. I think. =D
Love
1. Me.
2. My Cat.
3. My Parents.
4. arhuaine.
5. Jan (slashfairy).
"It's ok"
Hate
1. chip_dip.
2. arhuaine's husband.
Don't know what the hell that weird name means?!
Katy ( kitty_van_kat =) )
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[09 Oct 2005|03:31pm] |
A leading children's charity has welcomed the decision by the late disc jockey John Peel to talk about his rape by an older pupil at boarding school in his autobiography.
The NSPCC said celebrities could play a "vital role" in encouraging children to speak out about maltreatment and help to "break down the silence of abuse".
The charity's comments come as it was revealed how the DJ claimed to have suffered "systematic sexual abuse" at Shrewsbury School in Shropshire, which he attended from the age of 13.
The BBC disc jockey, who died a year ago at the age of 65 from a heart attack while holidaying in Peru, writes of the sexual demands made on new boys from "study monitors" who were four or five years older. He also detailed how he was raped in a public toilet by an older pupil.
A spokeswoman from the NSPCC said that celebrities who came forward to talk about abuse played a vital role in encouraging abused children to seek help.
The spokeswoman said: "Celebrities can help break down the silence of abuse. They can play a vital role in encouraging children to speak out about their maltreatment and adults to talk about abuse and recognise the signs. Three-quarters of sexually abused children don't speak out at the time. This week the NSPCC released a survey of children and young people who have experienced domestic violence and abuse. Some waited a very long time before they told someone or got help, over two years on average.
"They showed their pain in many ways. Some took overdoses, had nightmares, slit their wrists, withdrew or got angry with others before they got help. The NSPCC is sending a national child protection survey to millions of households across Britain, 90,000 have already been returned.
In his autobiography Margrave of the Marshes, serialised in the Sunday Telegraph, Peel wrote: "Another study monitor obliged me to perform an even more unwelcome service during what was supposed to be a period for doing homework. This man - and although it is tempting to name him, I'm not going to - was, I think, the only genuinely amoral person I've ever met. Towards the end of our time together, he compelled me to agree to meet him in a public toilet in the cemetery on the outskirts of Shrewsbury, where he raped me.
"Oddly enough, much as I hated the experience, I think I had become so accustomed to systematic sexual abuse that I wasn't especially traumatised by the experience. However, it was many years before I could bring myself to tell anyone what had happened to me, and when I did tell Sheila, my wife, one afternoon in the 80s as we drove through Shrewsbury and passed the cemetery toilet block, she found it, I think, more upsetting than I ever did. We have not spoken of it again.
Peel, whose real name was John Ravenscroft, had time to write only half his memoirs, which are published on October 17th, but the work was completed by his wife and their four children within months of his death.
--
Poor, lost boy. *sighs and hurts for him* We miss you John, and we wish you didn't have to go through that, so hard. From a Shrewsbury girl.
When will people *get* how common this problem is, and how painful it is. He shouldn't have *been* used to 'systematic sexual abuse'. It's not fair. It's not right. It's not to be ignored. Please, visit the NSPCC and help make it stop. Think like Tesco- every little helps.
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Happy 65th birthday to the memory of John Lennon, so many people wouldn't be who they are without you.
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
--
"Lennon's death was not like Elvis Presley1s. Presley seemed, at the end, trapped, defeated and hopeless. Lennon could have gone that way too, could have destroyed himself. But he did something harder. He lived. And, for all the fame and finance, that seemed to be what he took the most pride in.
He beat the rock-n-roll life," Steve Van Zandt said the day after Lennon died. "Beat drugs, beat the fame, beat the damage. He was the only guy who beat it all." That was the victory Mark Chapman took from John Lennon, who had an abundance of what everyone wants and wanted only what so many others have, and take for granted. A home and family. Some still center of love. A life. One minute more."
~ Jay Cocks's article, the Last Day in the Life
"My life revolves around Sean," Lennon told some radio interviewers from San Francisco on the afternoon of the day he was killed. "Now I have more reason to stay healthy and bright.... And I want to be with my best friend. My best friend is [my] wife. If I couldn't have worked with her, I wouldn't have bothered... I consider that my work won't be finished until I'm dead and buried, and I hope that's a long, long time." As he spoke those words, Mark David Chapman waited for him out on the street.
~ Jay Cocks's article, the Last Day in the Life
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[12 Sep 2005|08:08pm] |
Updating my journal way too many times today.
Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. Booooooooooooored.
BORED.
XD
Where is my Clairey?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED.
*has tantrum*
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| Mmmmm. |
[12 Sep 2005|05:23pm] |
Oo oo oooo I love college *beams* Had a fucking great day, tutor period sorting everything out getting announcements etc, then an hour break which I spent entirely in Costa with my mum sipping Mocha Frescato and eating carrot and walnut loaf. Ahh.. home at last. *Happy little sigh*. Then had General Studies and found out I am with three friends and we spent the whole lesson as a kind of group debate, 15 in the class (the joys of a selective college) debating the differences between the UK and the rest of the world as part of our cultural expression unit. *beams* Also found out we get to do 2 weeks studying a language of our choice, I'm so doing German *bats eyelashes at Dom*.
Then I got the special EE of Gladiator (ahh, the joys of a classical civilisation obsession) which came out today, mmmmmm it's so gloriously Roman, all shiny and mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
This is my (rather bloody spectacular might I add, which makes up for the bloody awful one of last year) time table for this year :) (it's scary, it's my last year of middle education. O.O).
Monday- 10:10am, Classical Civilisation, finishes at 11:10 then we have break until 11:30. 11:30am, English Language, finishes at 12:50 then we have tutor period them lunch from 1:00 till 2:10. 2:10, General Studies, finishes at 3:10 and then I have a free so I can come home. =D
Tuesday- English language at 2:10pm.
Wednesday- 10:10am, English Language, break at 11:30am until 11:50am. 11:50am, Classical Civilisation until 1:00. 2:10, Film Studies until 3:30 then home.
Thursday: 8:50am, Classical Civilisation until 10:10am. 10:10am, Film Studies double lesson (wheee!!) with break in the middle, finishes at 12:50. Tutor period, then home at 1:20.
Friday: 10:10am, Classical Civilisation, finishes at 11:30. 5 hours free until English Language at 3:10, so I figure I'll bus out to the cinema some days, go home and come back others.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. *bounces*
Am I a geek? Why yes I am, and I wear it proud. :p. I have a thirst for learning, I guess. I did a quiz, apparently I'm a modern, cool geek. Wheee. Makes sense.
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| Life is fucking funny. Hee. |
[12 Sep 2005|10:04am] |
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My dad playing guitar. |
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Life is fucking funny. Hee. I got up as usual at 6:30am after hardly sleeping to go into college for my first day back after the holidays, dragged myself all the way to sodding Shrewsbury and found I don't have to be there until 12:30. XD. Classic. Classic Emily thing to happen, right? Mum yelled at me (she was driving) until I pointed out I had no way of knowing and the number of people my age who had also turned up. Then she apologised. MWAHAHAHA. Power of the Emily. So I came all the way home (her choice, I would have just hung out in Costa, meh) and now here I am.
I reckon God likes the taste of my ass, he bites it so often, XD.
So now after this ever so amusing entry (oh the sarcasm) I'm going to go and watch some good old EE commentary, eat something, possibly nap, then drag myself back off to college.
I am actually looking forward to going back.. Because I'm pathetic, XD, I miss my friends and learning and being stimulated. I get bored after 7 weeks, it's just the right amount of time of for me, yippee.
On another note: watched Charlie's 'The Moth' episode in advance last night (for the second time, I know, naughty me ^_^). *Fangirlish swoony sigh* I love hiiiiiim. And he so can sing, in the pilot it's meant to be funny, but in 'The Moth' omg.. eee.. he's great.
I want a driveshaft album! *wails and has childish tantrum*
And so does he.. so.. yo, people, SIGN THEM.
*dances round in circles*
Mmmm, sweaty angsty Dom. *drool*
BTW: This, is what I call funny XD. Why won't you admit it Lijah?? It's so blatent.
Not with Dom though. Ergh. He just wishes. Ahh.. unrequited love. (Seriously check out him gazing, then check out the apologetic look on Dom's face every time they hug. It's so blatent. =P)
ETA: Go check out ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) xchasingtailsx journal and gaze upon the Dommie beauty she has created *loffs Clairethemagnificent*
*trots off to watch commentary goodness*
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| Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You |
[11 Sep 2005|12:37am] |
Author: Me
Rating: PG-13 to R
Warnings: Angst, not-so-nice Billy. This ficlet is a short ficlet, there will be no extra one shots or drabbles to make the story happier, sorry, this is it. (Not assuming you'd want more, anyway.. just- warning.)
A/N: The song lyrics are from the Damien Rice song 'The Blowers Daughter' as featured in the film Closer, I was listening to them and my muse bit me, hard, and this just flowed from my fingertips like blood. It is- however- not song fic, it just happens to refer to a song. I hope you like..
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( Read more... )
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| Bah. |
[31 Aug 2005|11:38am] |
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I fkin hate mainstream. |
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You'll be glad to know that because of the main stream CRAP in our society that clogs up the cinema listings and doesn't allow room for anything foreign, British, or even remotely challenging, while ON A CLEAR DAY comes out in the UK on the 2nd of September Emily has to wait till the 23rd. Bah. Probably shouldn't complain because I still get it earlier than America but ARGHHHHHHH guys, I say ARGH. I'm sick of it happening, it's like anyone who's an Orlando fan picked the winning cube and the Dom and Billy fans have to spend their whole fandom lives scraping and scrabbling to get the films, the interviews, the articles- especially in the fkin UK, you know SKY magazine have SHUNNED lost completely? They refuse to even advertise it and no-one has a clue why. I saw SPIVS for the first time in MAY.. it came out in FEBRUARY... And I'm sick of getting close to the release dates, looking at nationwide listings and the closest venue to me being BIRMINGHAM or LIVERPOOL or some shite. Actually you know what I could GET to Birmingham and see it but because I get the added bonus of being a teenager my mum when SPIVS was on there declined my dad's offer to take me FOR ME and said "she'll deal with it, don't pander to her." which means the ratings go DOWN and Dom could get DEPRESSED AGAIN BITCH. And besides on a clear day isn't fkin showing in Birmingham is it- no- Liverpool is the closest, and I mean CLOSEST, everywhere else is Scotland (quite rightly) and fkin London. JUST ONCE. I WANT. TO SEE. MY BOYS. IN THE CINEMA. WITHOUT HAVING TO SCRABBLE FOR IT. JUST. FKIN. ONCE!!!!!!! *screams. has childish tantrum*
*breathe*. I'm done.
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[02 Jul 2005|01:54pm] |
Title: Never Thought...
Rating: R
Author: Me!
Warning: Severe Angst
A/N: Ok I wrote this ages ago and didn’t think much of it, but was sorting some things to print off and file yesterday and stumbled across it and thought “hmm, ok- not THAT bad...” and decided to post it here and get a real verdict . Please be honest! Con-Crit is most welcome.
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( Read more... )
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| OMG. |
[11 Jun 2005|07:22pm] |
Tuesday the 5th of July, Bolton Reebok Stadium, at 4:00pm, COLDPLAY are playing.
AND I'M GOING TO SEE THEM!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*explodes all over the place*
SERIOUSLY this is like almost on the scale of meeting Dom, they've been my absolute favourite band ever since YELLOW was released. Omg. *squeeee*
*dances round hugging everyone*
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[21 May 2005|11:45am] |
Exciting time at the moment! I have to apply for university at the beginning of my next academic year in September, so I've been researching! Wheeeeeeeee. I'm apply to six universities, my absolute first choices and then going down to my absolute failsafe (Derby, lol).
So...my current list (feedback and opinions on these would be so great, lol):
1. Absolute number one choice: Bournemouth University Media School. It is the holy grail to get into this place, so chances minimum. I'm applying to two courses, so I have a fall back. My number one choice of course is Scriptwriting For Screen and Television (BA Hons). Now that really is the holy grail, as it is currently the only exclusively screenwriting course in the UK. I doubt I'll get in my hey, no harm in trying right? There's always some hope. Second choice for a course at Bournemouth is Media and Communication.
2. Not really so much my second choice as a joint first choice is The University of Westminster in London (eek! that's kind of why it's second). It's one of the best universities in the UK and the idea of going there is very, very scary but I actually think that with determination and a good portfolio I could get in. The course here is Film and Television Production. Ideally I would like to get a BA in Screenwriting at Bournemouth and then transfer to Westminster to carry it on for an MA in Screenwriting and Production.
3. Creative Writing With Film Studies (BA hons) at Portsmouth University.
4. Writing With Film and Television Studies (BA hons) at Manchester Metropolitan University (Cheshire Campus).
At the moment my failsafe is The University of Wales in Aberystwyth. It's less than an hour's drive or train journey away from me and it's on the welsh coast. I'm just not sure about the course.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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| Me Biffdee |
[16 May 2005|12:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
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Birthdayee |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Tegan and Sara |
] |
Hello all!
Yay, birthday today, good stuff. I know it's childish but I do get excited lol *sadness* I just like having a day where I can sit back, relax, and let everything happen by itself. Wahaha. *Sits in throne*
I got my beautiful ickle green ipod mini yaaaay. It now has 58 tracks on it (only another 942 to go! lmfao) and OMG if anybody has one, and hasn't tried the music quiz, try it NOOOOOOOOW it's great fun!
*loves on the ipod*
I also got (a complete surprise!!) a gorgeous ickle hp digital camera, lovely ickle thing, takes prettiful pictures which I shall be uploading tomorrow and- if photoshop decides not to fuck with me this time- putting up here =)
Also, OMG, SPIVS. Goat! SO ADORABLE. I nearly died I swear. And wow, Dom really can do a cockney accent better than any Mancunian I've ever known *glows with pride*
*Can't help but giggle remembering Billy's MaC accent* Bless him...
I'm off to bed nows! I'll update again tomorrow! *kisses to all*
Em
xxx
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| Photography |
[14 May 2005|03:50pm] |
*Updating spree today*
Some photography I did a while ago under the cut, you're welcome to take it, I don't know why you would but, if you want it for art or anything, that's fine with me :)
( Read more... )
Feedback is lovely as always!
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| Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. |
[14 May 2005|03:45pm] |
You Are 50% Normal
(Somewhat Normal)
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While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself |
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| BWAHA. WTF? |
[14 May 2005|03:33pm] |
This is mad and utterly...I dunno, it's not completely wrong but it's hardly completely right either! XD I put that Sam reminds me of a Saltine cracker! WTF?!
( Read more... )
Back to today:
CLAIREY! Omg thankyou SO SO much for my beautiful layout codingness and the very idea in the first place! I ♥ you! *kiss kiss*
It's my biffday tomorrow! Wheeeeeeeee! Mmm. Gonna be seventeen and all able to drive-like. *Grins* WATCH OUT PEDESTRIANS!
18go30's next chapter is being a right little bitch, but it is coming, I swear, I promises it on my heart.
Today is a good day!
*Glows*
Em
xxx
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| Five. 1/5. Monaboyd. Chapter 1: First. |
[09 May 2005|10:58pm] |
Title: Five. Chapter 1: First.
Summary: Five of Dom's most important relationships. This chapter: Dom's first boyfriend. (Summary suckage!)
Feedback: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase. Con-crit welcome!
A/N: I really should stop indulging my plot bunnies. Un-beta'ed, all mistakes are my own.
( Read more... )
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[06 May 2005|11:28pm] |
Never thought
Never thought I could become this shell of a person, standing and staring at the waves and wondering what my body would look like floating miles out beyond the shore, wondering: Who would find me? Who would care? Who would actually come to my funeral?
Feeling so totally unloved.
Never thought it would come to the point of knowing the only way I can possibly survive is to distance myself from the one person I love more than anything in the world as far as I possibly can. You. And you can just never take the hint, can you?
It would be- could be- alright if you loved me, Billy, but you don’t, you just don’t. I’m just sticky fumblings when your girl’s not looking and the rest of the time your very best friend, and isn’t that just great? Being your best friend- I mean.
Only it’s not. It won’t be. It hasn’t been. It isn’t. I need more and you’ll just never give it.
And this...this was the last time. I can’t even breathe anymore. I can’t even feel my heart beating. So what difference does it make if it actually is or not?
You know what hurts most, Bills? Billy? Pickle? It’s the look in your eyes. It tricks me. Every time I think I know better but every time I’m fooled. You look at me like you love me, and we never just fuck- it’s making love. But it isn’t. Because you don’t love me- you can’t love me.
If you did you’d stay with me, you wouldn’t keep crawling back to her.
Her. God. I tried so hard not to hate her, I tried so hard. But she knows, Billy, she knows and she doesn’t even hate me, she doesn’t scream at me, or you. She just smiles, and holds your hand when she knows I’m looking, and let’s me know with big bold neon letters: You don’t belong to me, and you never have.
I’ll never understand what you see in her. What she has to give you that I don’t- other than children.
Children.
You’re so desperate, so fucking desperate for children that I don’t stand a chance.
My toes curl into the sand as I turn my broken gaze to your solid form in the sand. So beautiful. Even when I hate you you’re still so beautiful. Please...
But no. The pleases have to end now. The pleases have gone on for far too long.
I can’t keep begging you to love me- you won’t. You never will.
God. I love you.
I love you so fucking much.
The tiny sob breaks loose before I can bite it back like all the rest and you stir, eyes flickering, then mouth something in dreams and drift away again.
Needles in my heart, it feels like, as the water reaches my chest and thumps me in the gut with its ice cold. Plunging in like this- it’s not dramatic, or anything of the sort, but I just want it over with. I can’t back out. I can still feel the last of your kisses on my lips...
Closing my eyes, I imagine a thousand kisses, tears falling freely to mingle with the ocean. I remember the touches, the shouts, the screams of lust; I remember the look in your eyes as you kissed me so passionately for the first time, a time when perhaps a chance of us still lingered. I remember the look in your eyes as you told me about her- you thought I was being unreasonable when I screamed and cursed and cried. I remember just an hour ago, writhing in the surf, your face with the clouded Scotland sky as its backdrop, your eyes as you shuddered and filled me and I came under your touch for the thousandth and final time.
Your small form still sleeping in the distance on the shore is the last thing I see before the wave hits, before the tide drags me under and I let it wash you- wash me- away.
I never thought it would come to this...
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| I figured... |
[23 Apr 2005|03:59pm] |
What did I figure? I hear you ask! I figured that I should probably start using this lj for what lj's are for aswell as my perverted and angsty double life (though that will most definately still feature). So- what can I say- here I am folks. Emily, pervy Hobbit fancier, angst-lover, drama queen.
Today I feel like crap, actually, but not so much mentally as I just went for a walk and trust me fresh air IS all it's cracked up to be. My head just feels like a ball of lead on my shoulders which in due course feel like they are under that strain, haha, but tis ok, fresh air's slowly helping that too. *Opens all the windows*.
I'm sixteen and all so, no apartment of my own, no husband, no kids...nothing exciting going on really. But writing is my life and I like to think I'm improving- every now and then I'll write a blinding piece, and then every now and then I'll write a terrible piece.
18go30 is a style I'm not used to writing in, really, seeing as I pretty much always write first person, but the plotbunnie has taken over my brain and God, I think it's actually going surprisingly well. People seem to like it- at least.
College bites. Film Studies is wonderful and everything but to have to put up with three other subjects that I'm not enjoying just to do that one is slightly testing. XD So lazy. However- exams start 25th May (film first, woohoo, start off on a good one!), so after that it will just be two subjects I'm not enjoying, and no more of the dreaded English Literature.
I hate not liking English Literature (does that make sense?). When I say I hate it people look at me like I'm so stupid, because it's meant to be one that most people can do, and I love the actual subject matter we study, it's just I. Can't. Do. It. Lmfao. Plus I agree with old Shakers- studying plays is sacraledge. Bet he's turning in his grave.
It used to be my best subject, and how odd is that, anyway? I got an A* at GCSE and was hoping to do as well at college. No such luck- four weeks in and I was floundering.
I can get by on D/C now, so I will survive, I'm just getting hacked off with people thinking I'm stupid because english lit is my worst and film studies is my best.
Which brings me to another point. The point being: Film studies is NOT a doss and it is NOT a mickey mouse subject! ARGHHHHHH!!! It is a serious subject and we work BLOODY HARD for our grades. People can't get it into their THICK HEADS that we don't just sit and watch films for an hour a day! We write essays, we study essays, we study whole books about the history of film and we study screenwriting and storyboarding. SO MANY people drop out because it's harder than they expected.
Gah.
</rant>.
I fucking love film studies. And I love being the college writer too, that rocks. In english language yesterday for example- my teacher was talking about techniques in literature and just randomly pointed to me and said "I assume you've used these in alot of your fiction, yes?" I was like WOOOO you bet!
=P
Wales is- yep, you guess it, rainy. Home sweet home. I dunno what Tom Jones is on about, really, the grass here isn't really very green for half of the year. More a kind of...yellowy lime.
And I fucking love it. Hahaha.
I don't actually like Welsh people- and I can say that seeing as I am one, though I try not to act it. Wales is homophobe central (oh so many farmers. OH SO MANY.). It's very beautiful, the people just suck.
Well not all of them, but a huge percentage that I have actually met.
Haha.
So religious, it's fun to be blasphemous in Wales I swear XD.
I am so good at babbling, aren't I? I could win a prize.
I was glad to find out that Dom isn't dating Evie (I don't like her, for her personality, I never did- even before the rumours started, I pwomise), which he stated in a German interview, but I was also sad to find out that despite his improvement from the first year he is still struggling.
The whole 'demons' thing really worried me, and he seems almost as though he has made his mind up that he won't achieve his family dreams.
BILLY GET YOUR ARSE TO HAWAII AND MAKE HIM BETTER!!
*Ahem*
I'm still trying to figure out what to write in the Third Chapter of 18go30. Hmm. I wonder. It's called 'video rentals and supermarket encounters', so I know vaguely where I want it to go with the plot, just need to structure it properly. My muse isn't being that helpful but then she isn't that often, if I went with her ideas then Megan would be kidnapped and die, Billy would kill himself, Maggie would be raped, and Dom would go on with his life broken and hollow.
Which obviously I can't do. So *fwap* muse. Keep thinking.
Damn angsty muse.
*Sigh*
Constantine rocks my world, and I really want to see 'Downfall' from a Film Studies perspective, I don't really like war films but...must bully Sam into going to see it with me for German Language purposes. Heh, bless him, he probably wouldn't even have to read the subtitles *aww*.
My allegience has switched from Labour to Lib Dem but alas I can't vote until the next election which is in five years time...otherwise I would. Labour are most likely to win though *sigh* I don't really mind but I seriously could do without a truckload of debt after university, it's the last thing I'd need. I'll be wanting to write and try and sell my work and seriously, they will just have to wait, I'm not settling for a second-best-job. I want my dream.
Wow what a babblefest, I'm outie, I need a shower. I smell- as Dom says- of elderberries and wizard. =P.
Bye all,
Em
xxx
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| Challenge. |
[23 Apr 2005|01:07am] |
This was a challenge/request that my friend (I LOVE YOU CLAIRE) gave me to do. She basically said about five months ago "I dare you to do a priest!dom/choirboy!orli fic". So- five months later and done at roughly half midnight. This is it. The end result took me by surprise.
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The bells, the bells
Dominic was a priest. And Orlando was a choirboy. It was altogether entirely bad. But then- it was also oh so good. And Dominic had never claimed to be the purest of priests; he was just getting by like everyday people.
And such a perve, too.
But when Orlando’s lips were shaped in a perfect circle as he sung to the tunes of the church, Dominic liked to imagine his cock snug between those silky perfect angelic cheeks set into the face that reminded him of the statues along the church walls. He liked to imagine letting the young Italian under his robes to do as he pleased with him.
It was entirely perverted.
It wasn’t sick though, really; Orlando was mature for an eighteen-year-old - and Dominic was only thirty.
Sometimes, he didn’t have to imagine. Sometimes Orlando stayed behind after service and let himself under Dominic’s robes. And in a church of all places. A Catholic church. Tut, tut, tut. But Dominic didn’t protest, of course, only when asked what he thought of the lad- then he protested too much: “I don’t think much of him” never quite rang true within those walls.
Sometimes Orlando accompanied Dominic up to the belfry and they fucked under the great bronze and gold skirts of the bells, fucked until they were sweaty and heaving for breath and the echo of their love making rang like the service chimes, chimed for every word they said, every breath they panted, every long low groan from the olive tanned boy with every long slow thrust.
Dominic liked to think the whole town could hear them.
For months- months which extended into two, long, passionate years- Orlando would come to choir. For months chocolate eyes would flicker up to catch storm blue ones as Dominic read the service of the day. For months secret smiles were shared, secret glances, secret passions and shouts and promises.
Dominic liked to think Orlando was an angel.
Then the war came. The second war. The greatest of the great wars. And everything changed- Italy allied with Hitler quickly enough and Orlando was conscribed to fight, and the Church was kept under guard to make sure that this ‘young priest’ was doing things as he should. Never too liberal. Never hiding anything.
But he was hiding. He was hiding so much. So many secrets they would never ever know.
The bells still rang every Sunday, and the remaining townspeople still came to service. But the bells never sounded the same. The echoes of their love-making faded. The belfry was never the same after the telegram arrived from the fields. Brown eyes never did look up into storm blue again.
Orlando Bloom was killed by enemy fire in the field in late April. His body never returned home to the town where he was born.
A week after the telegram arrived, Dominic left the priesthood. An angel had died. He no longer had any call for God, or for salvation.
Dominic wonders now if the echo does still linger at all in the belfry. He wonders if the church still stands. He wonders if anything of what he had- and lost- remains.
He lies awake, and he wonders.
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| 18 Going On 30. AU. Monaboyd. Chapter 2. |
[20 Apr 2005|08:17pm] |
Title: 18 Going On 30. Chapter 2: Bath Times, Bed Times, and Elevators. (2/?).
Author: Warpedrealityjl, formerly known as Emily.
Pairing: Monaboyd.
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17.
Summary: WIP. AU set in Glasgow. Billy is an eighteen year old father of a two year old daughter with whom he became pregnant at the tender age of fifteen. Dom and his family move into the tower block flat accross the corridor from Billy. Plotiness ensues- but it's not as cliched as it looks, really, I promise.
Warning: Mpreg without scientific intervention. Angst (of course) and...well, a whole other bunch of warnings that I'll post when I get to them.
Disclaimer: This. Ain't. True.
Feedback: Great stuff! Makes for better fic in future. Also- Cookies on offer for it! So roll-up roll-up I say!
Author’s Notes: Beta'ed by the lovely and so good-at-it: honey_babes (I don't know how to do lj tags honey, sorry). I am told by honey_babes that in America 'Chavs' are referred to as 'Hoodlums', but just incase there are image differences, here, have a picture or two: female chavs *shudder and male chav *equally big shudder*
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Prologue / Chapter 1, 18 Going On Thirty
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| 18 Going On 30. AU. Monaboyd. Chapter 1 |
[19 Apr 2005|04:25pm] |
Title: 18 Going On 30 (1/?)
Author: Warpedrealityjl, formerly known as Emily.
Pairing: Monaboyd.
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17.
Summary: WIP. AU set in Glasgow. Billy is an eighteen year old father of a two year old daughter with whom he became pregnant at the tender age of fifteen. Dom and his family move into the tower block flat accross the corridor from Billy. Plotiness ensues- but it's not as cliched as it looks, really, I promise.
Warning: Mpreg without scientific intervention. Angst (of course) and...well, a whole other bunch of warnings that I'll post when I get to them.
Disclaimer: Since...men can't get pregnant and...Billy and Dom aren't the same age...I don't think I actually need to put 'this isn't true'. But I will anyway: This. Ain't. True.
Feedback: Great stuff! Makes for better fic in future. Also- Cookies on offer for it! So roll-up roll-up I say!
Author’s Notes: You know when plotbunnies round up all your braincells and threaten to eat them all alive if they don't co-operate and give every ounce of their time to writing the bunnie out nice? Yeah *sigh*. This *points to fic* is the product of that *points to aforesaid rounding up and threatening of braincells*. Beta'ed by the lovely and so good-at-it: honey_babes (I don't know how to do lj tags honey, sorry).
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Prologue
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| 18 Going On 30. AU Monaboyd. |
[18 Apr 2005|10:39pm] |
Title: 18 Going On 30
Author: warpedrealityjl, formerly known as Emily.
Pairing: Monaboyd, duh!
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17.
Summary: WIP. AU set in Glasgow. Billy is an eighteen year old father of a two year old daughter with whom he became pregnant at the tender age of fifteen. Dom and his family move into the tower block flat accross the corridor from Billy. Plotiness ensues- but it's not as cliched as it looks, really, I promise.
Warning: Mpreg without scientific intervention. Angst (of course) and...well, a whole other bunch of warnings that I'll post when I get to them. Oh- also, the opinions expressed in this post are the opinions of the characters only. I will express no view on the topic of abortion or adoption. This is fiction, but with real issues at the core. Thanks.
Disclaimer: Since...men can't get pregnant and...Billy and Dom aren't the same age...I don't think I actually need to put 'this isn't true'. But I will anyway: This. Ain't. True.
Feedback: Great stuff! Makes for better fic in future. Also- Cookies on offer for it! So roll-up roll-up I say!
Author’s Notes: You know when plotbunnies round up all your braincells and threaten to eat them all alive if they don't co-operate and give every ounce of their time to writing the bunnie out nice? Yeah *sigh*. This *points to fic* is the product of that *points to aforesaid rounding up and threatening of braincells*.
Prologue under the cut:
( Read more... )
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[12 Jan 2005|08:30pm] |
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Ok, this is a touchy one, and believe me I have fought with myself about whether to post this or not, and finally- the stubborn and let's face it BRAVE side of me won.
I know full well I have absolutely no right to assume to know how Billy felt at this time (the 14 years and a half entry) in his life, I only wrote from how I imagined I would be feeling if it happened to me. Disrespect to his passed mother Mary Boyd is the last thing I intend, as we all know how despair can get to a person, I don't judge her. This is all made up, not true, apart from the unfortunate facts of Billy's childhood. And I reiterate that I have no right to say how he felt then, and the Billy in my story is really not the Billy of real life, and I am very sorry for any offence caused. Again- it is merely an imagination of how I would feel.
Thus we begin.
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Billy
14 years and a half
Great.
She died. She gave up. She had us watch her die for months, not eating, not sleeping, Maggie cried and Gran tried so hard to talk her round- to living for us. I just watched her fade away.
We all miss dad, we all want and need him back, but he’s not coming back, and as much as that hurts…we needed her to look after us.
And she just fucking gave up? It’s not fair, why? Why didn’t she see me and her daughter as something worth living for? Her body- it couldn’t cope, with the lack of food and energy, and the drink and the cigarettes. In the end her heart just stopped beating.
She could have tried, for us, she could have accepted it and tried and been our mum. She didn’t, though, did she? And now I’m an orphan, and so is Maggie. And it’s not like dad, because this time it could have been changed, she could have changed it. She just couldn’t be bothered.
I’ll recover, and so will Maggie- she better fucking had, she better not leave me too.
I have to be the older brother. I want to break down in tears, I want to curl up in bed and cry and cry until the sky falls down, I want to just-...just run away, get away.
But while she needs me there is no way I’ll run. I won’t show my weakness in front of her, and I won’t cry when she’s looking.
I’m not a great writer, but I’ll keep this- as long as I live, and when I’m all the things I want to be and I know I didn’t give up, I’ll look at it. And then it will mean something.
And for all the harsh things I’ve said, I miss her, it doesn’t seem real, and as childish as it is I want my mum. I want a cuddle and a kiss; I want my dad to be downstairs watching TV with a malt whiskey. I want to see Maggie smile again- and I want to smile back and mean it.
I feel alone, for all the support Gran gives, I still feel alone.
I miss my life- I want my life back.
16 years and four days
They won’t know. They will never, ever, know. They won’t know because I won’t tell them.
I don’t understand. I just don’t fucking understand why…why do I feel this way?
It’s not fair. I used to be normal…was I ever normal? I hate this. I hate me. I hate the way I feel and I hate whoever the fuck did this to me.
It was my birthday on Saturday, great, brilliant. Had a good time.
Got turned on by my best friend.
I don’t understand why the fuck this is happening! I swear, I feel like I’m drowning, I had felt this before but I shrugged it off, I thought it was just…I don’t know what I thought.
And now?
My best friend, is a guy, incase you didn’t guess, and fuck, fucking hell!
I’m not meant to like guys, I’m meant to like girls, guys like girls, right?
I mean. Not all guys- granted.
But me. I’m meant to like girls! And the thought of being with a girl makes me sick. And I’m so fucking screwed.
Keep telling myself it’ll pass, it’s just a phase, and one night it will just go away.
But it hasn’t has it and I don’t think it ever will.
So, I live, on the crap side of Glasgow, all my friends are homophobes and queer bashers.
And I’m fucking queer. Fuck. FUCK.
I need my mum, I need her now, I need to talk to her, my Gran won’t understand- won’t listen, will laugh it off and say I’m overreacting to a silly teenage phase every lad goes through, my sister…I won’t tell her, she can be touchy for fucks sake, she could tell the whole school. So that leaves a total of no-one.
And if anyone thinks I’m telling a teacher they can go fuck themselves.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
They will never ever know, I’ll push it to the back of my mind, and I won’t think about it ever again. I’ll get married. I’ll have kids. And it won’t be a problem, because it will go away. I’ll make it go away.
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[12 Jan 2005|08:20pm] |
“Lee I…ah shit…Lee…can’t…not here you…you realise what…if we…caught?”
Dom’s last word left his throat as a gasp, damn, he looked down at Lee who was currently devouring his neck with everything he had. The dark haired boy looked up from where his teeth were now securely clamped around the flesh of Dom’s jugular and smiled, and fuck, only Lee could smile whilst giving someone a love bite, and fuck, only Lee would hum and giggle against his throat, make things a hundred times worse. He just about suppressed a moan.
Lee hummed contentedly as he released Dom’s neck and smiled down at him, and it was that mischievous grin, where his eyes lit up and his lips were just slightly crooked, god, Dom knew that look, and when Lee’s fingers came up to trace the lines and contours of his face it was hard not to scream with frustration. He groaned as quietly as possible.
“You’re trying to get me kicked out of my home, aren’t you?”
Unable to help smiling when brown eyes sparkled down at him.
“We won’t get caught, Dommie”
Any protest was cut off most definitely when Lee’s lips descended on his own, a kiss almost tender and almost sweet but with passion and need clear beneath the surface, like a current through them both. By the time that kiss broke apart, all that was really left for Dom to do was whimper and tug feverishly at the buttons of Lee’s nightshirt. Lee smiled and nuzzled into Dom’s neck and wow, Dom always liked the feeling of that, felt needed, felt loved.
He vaguely heard the whisper against his ear, he was vaguely aware it said “I promise I’ll be quiet”, and yeah, all he could do was groan and flip them over so that he was the one on top. He let his rationality melt and disappear when Lee’s lips met his.
“Oh God”
“Oh…God…fast…ahh …please…Dom”
Voices slid in and out of the whispering they tried to maintain, Lee’s mutterings turning into a high pitched whine at the end, and Dom’s low and deep, as quiet as possible in that state. Dom was so deep in Lee now, so deep and they were both so close, Lee trembling and clenching around him with every thrust and with eyes so rolled back and lustful it was beautiful, Dom’s vision was fading, stars beneath his eyelids, thighs cramping, vaguely aware as Lee begged for him to go faster that the headboard rattled against the wall with every thrust, but thrusting deep and hard was all that mattered, the arch of Lee’s back with each thrust and his shuddering breathing and he couldn’t hold out much longer, not like this, not with Lee giving him everything, not with the yielding of muscle and the ache in his balls and he was trembling so very hard now, the tingling in the base of his spine intensifying but he wanted to make Lee come, he wanted to bring him with him. He thanked…something…that he knew exactly how to do that.
Lee whimpered desperately when he pushed in as deep as possible, as deep as he could go, and stopped still, a constant press against Lee’s prostate and staring straight into his eyes, and shit yeah that was hot, he clamped his hand over Lee’s mouth when he knew the moan would come and didn’t pull his hand away when teeth clamped down on the flesh there. Lee came almost as soon as he started moving again, his back bent in an impossible arch and Dom was pumping hard and fast at the finish line, hearing the bed shake and not caring, falling so quickly into darkness and when Lee told him to come in his ear his whole body went still for just one second, then shook, spasmed, as he came so hard inside Lee, thrusting erratic and frenzied.
It was at that moment, that very moment when his thrusts were slowing and he was trembling and his face was burrowed securely into Lee’s neck, and the covers had slipped, Lee’s one leg stretched out and the other bent beside Dom’s right hip, both sweaty and shaking and Lee moaning and gasping softly, satisfied and enjoying the moment through shaking gasps each time Dom’s softening cock nudged his sweet spot and he arched into the touch. He kissed Dom’s head, and then, when he looked up at him, his lips.
It was at that moment that neither heard the door open. When the kiss was deepening, when Lee’s hands made their way into Dom’s hair, when as they pulled apart Dom’s thrusts finally came to a shaking halt and their forehead’s touched, silent laughter without reason and deep shaking breaths. Lee hummed contentedly, smiling with sleepy eyes, tucking Dom’s hair behind his ear and kissing his nose.
“I love you”
Dom smiled and returned the kiss on his boyfriend’s nose
“’love you too”.
It was then that they both heard the door slam. Dom jumped back as though by electric shock.
“Shit”
“oh God, Dom, I’m-“
“[i]shit[/i]”
It could have been Matt, that would be ok, he would understand, or his mum, she would think it was just a phase but she’d be alright with it, oh god, just, [i]anyone[/i] except his Dad.
Pyjama bottoms were thrown on in frenzy, stumbling and tripping on them as he rushed to get out and through the door.
“Dom”
At first he ignored Lee, he didn’t mean to, his head was whirring, but when hands were clasped firmly on his shoulders and he turned round with little pressure applied, finding him with the bed sheet wrapped around himself and with eyes that were oh so concerned, rubbing circles in his biceps. This was the serious version of Lee, strange to him but no less loved. It was only then that he was aware he was shaking, and panicked tears were building in his eyes. Then he could feel Lee was shaking too, and speaking to him firmly and so worried.
“Be careful, please…be careful…”
Dom took a deep breath and stared into his eyes, couldn’t decide on the words, nodded shakily
“Yeah…”
Through a sudden need to reassure Lee, he kissed him, a hard, short kiss, gripping his biceps hard, maybe, though he would never admit it, to reassure himself just as much. When he pulled away Lee’s eyes were brimming with tears
“I’m sorry…”
“God…Lee…not your fault…I swear, not your fault….it had to happen one day…”
“Please be careful…you know what he’s capable of”
“It was Dad? You saw him?”
Lee nodded slowly
“Shit….he’s not even meant to be here tonight”
“Please Dommie be careful [i]please[/i]”
“Yeah…I’ll try…if anything happens I want you to leave, ok? I want you to go to the back door, the key’s on the hook, and I want you to get out as quickly as you can, ok?”
Lee’s body went utterly still then, his stomach filled with ice, his blood running cold, and, his eyes scared, he nodded slowly.
“I love you”
“I love you too…”
Dom turned to go, but was pulled back without warning and Lee’s lips crashed into his, a frightened kiss that was afraid of letting go, and it soothed him, expected it to be hard but it was soft and sweet, he sighed as Lee broke away with his hand at his cheek.
“You’ll get out if anything happens?”
“Dom…”
“Promise me…”
“I can’t-“
“Lee, promise me”
“I [i]can’t[/i] leave you to get hurt Dom”
“Yeah? Well you’re going to, you hear me? If you hear [i]anything[/i] bad I need you to get out…please Lee”
The dark haired boy swallowed and nodded shakily, though he couldn’t force himself to mean it. Dom turned and left the room.
XxEND PART ONExX
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[05 Dec 2004|02:19pm] |
Lately I have been reading through Monaboyd LJ's calender, and I found a fic I really loved called 'Friendly Neighbourhood Baker' by hobbits_r_cute, however, after the 14th chapter I can find no more updates on the story. Though I have searched every page after it for two months. Does anyone have any idea what happened to this story? It is possibly my favourite fic I have read and I'd love to know whether it was still being continued with, I hope it is! Hobbits_r_cute, if you read this, I really hope you write more lovely updates on FNB, I really do love your story.
Also, Jen, if you read this at all, you met me at Collectormania 6, I was with Tracy? We began talking about slash and you told me you wrote...Breathe in? I think it was. (and my gosh I love that fic). If you're out there, drop me a line \o/, it'd be a shame to waste the oppurtunity to make a new friend :)
To make this post legal, here is a very angsty ficlet:
Billy thinks of Dom.
NC-17.
Warnings: Angst. Domestic abuse. Rape.
Pairing: Billy/Viggo, underlying Monaboyd- but more of a wish for Monaboyd.
NO BETA, I never have one *sniff*, all mistakes are my own. If anyone would like to volunteer to beta me in future, the offer would be most welcome. This was quite roughly thrown together last night by way of anger release. Be gentle with me.
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[05 Dec 2004|02:19pm] |
Billy thinks of Dom
Billy thinks of Dom. When he cleans himself up with his eyes downcast in front of the mirror and makes sure to hide small cuts, bruises, the imprint of fingers here and there. He thinks of Dom. He thinks. Dom wouldn’t do this, that’s why I don’t deserve Dom, I deserve every second of this, I will never deserve anything better than second best, Viggo understands.
Billy’s tears sing of Dom, Dommie, Dominic, when Viggo slides his belt from its loops with fierce speed and turns it on Billy, when the lash of leather leaves red blistering lines in its wake along his back and thighs. Billy can’t remember what he did wrong, but it must have been something bad to deserve this, and he’s angry with himself, for treating Viggo so badly when all he ever does is take care of him.
The image of Dom keeps Billy from screaming and kicking out and punching clawing biting to get away, every time, every night, when Viggo plunges into him again and again without lube or any kind of prep, when the stronger man comes deep inside him with a groan and sets the wounds inside of him on fire with salt and heat, pain. White. Hot. Pain.
But he has to pleasure Viggo, what sort of boyfriend would he be if he didn’t?
So he lets him have his way. He’ll always, always let him have his way. It’s only fair, after all.
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| Paparazzi 3/3 |
[25 Nov 2004|01:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sweet FA |
] |
Sorry for the delay! Here it is!
Title: Paparazzi Part 3
Rating: R to be safe.
Summary: Third part of the 'trilogy', Billy and Dom share a lie in and discuss the past.
Disclaimer: If it's true I'll be both thrilled and freaked out, seeing as this is completely made up off the top of my head imaginary bullshit fictional etc etc.
Feedback: In the words of the great anemptymargin: "is like crack to me".
Part One
Part Two
--
Part III
"why are we still in bed?"
"uh....strange question there Dom, because it's warm? cozy? a nice bed?"
"yeah but it's a nice day...we should be able to see the sky!"
"I can see the sky Dommie. Through the skylight"
"lazy git"
"well sorry if I want to spend the whole day in bed with my beautiful husband"
"that still feel weird?"
"what?"
"calling me that? It feels weird being called that"
"haha. I'm your husband too you know"
"nah, you wore the skirt, you're my wife Boyd"
"bastard, fucking, wanker, and it's a kilt"
"hee!...anyway. Does it still feel weird?"
"a little, I'm getting used to it, I sort of never expected to call anyone my husband though, was all settled for a wife before you came along!"
"hmm...well...guess I have the edge there"
"you do"
"..."
"..."
"remember the wedding?"
"no Dom I forgot it, what sort of stupid bloody question is that?!"
"oh shut up...you wore a garter"
"I did"
"it was tartan"
"it was"
"I liked that garter"
"I know you did, I think you were more interested in it than me on the wedding night, which was nice"
"well that's just not true......I don't think that's even possible....."
"......ok....then...if you....say so..."
"...not anything more interesting than you...."
"......that's nice...."
"....mm....we're kissing again aren't we?"
"mmhmm"
"that means staying in bed more doesn't it?"
"...so it does..."
"...mm....well...ok then..."
"...."
"...."
"do you...remember the reception?"
"...yeah"
"...so do I....God should I even be trying to speak right now?"
"God no, and...if you can...you're a very talented man"
"oh like fuck I can be bothered"
"thought not...."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"you're...really beautiful...you know that?"
"shut up"
"you are"
"....Dom..."
"mm....what?"
"I'm not...shut up"
".....yes you are"
"well in that case you are insane, and have for some reason which is completely unknown to me stopped with the kissing....huh?"
"because Billy you are"
"argh, ok, ok then I believe you it was just habit..."
"promise?"
"we have this argument every time you tell me I'm beautiful you realise that?"
"yes, maybe you should take a compliment"
"maybe you should give up"
"haha, never, can we stop talking now?"
"my thoughts exactly...."
"...oh..."
"....."
Three hours later
"Morning sunshine"
"hmm...what?...morning?....mph....is it not dark outside?"
"so it is"
"I successfully kept you in bed all day Sblom"
"haha, yeah, it won't happen again trust me"
"wanna bet?"
"....not particularly"
"you know when you're beaten I'll give you that"
"I know when to give up"
"hmm, that too"
"..."
"..."
"did I just hear the click of a camera?"
"har har Monaghan, funny man"
THE END
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| Paparazzi 2/3 |
[17 Nov 2004|07:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Simple Plan- Crazy |
] |
Title: Paparazzi Part 2
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Summary: Second part of the 'trilogy'. Billy and Dom discuss afterglow among other things. A bit shorter than the first, but I hope as well received.
Disclaimer: If it's true I'll be both thrilled and freaked out, seeing as this is completely made up off the top of my head imaginary bullshit fictional etc etc.
Feedback: In the words of the great anemptymargin: "is like crack to me".
Part One
---
Part II
"Afterglow's a very nice thing isn't it?"
"it is"
"I feel all....glowy"
"I think that's why it's called after glow Bill"
"yeah...ok...so maybe I feel silly now"
"awww, I love you anyway"
"well then, that's alright"
"..."
"..."
"Bill?"
"mmm"
"I'm sorry I didn't come with you at first"
"that could sound wrong"
"har har. But seriously, I'm sorry..."
"mm it's ok, you're here now, and I feel all glowy, so everything's ok right?"
"yeah"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Dom?"
"yeah"
"do those paparazzi shots really exist?"
"oh yes"
"oh no"
"hehe. They're alright really, I just wish they weren't paparazzi, I mean, why do they have to stalk us? Really? Aren't there other gay couples in LA?"
"hmm...we must be very, very interesting"
"hmm....we are"
"so....about this, afterglow, it's wearing off"
"....yeah"
"I don't know if I like that feeling Dominic"
"shall I make it come back?"
"if you would"
"hmmm....pleasure...."
"...love you Sblomie"
"...love you too.....now, about this afterglow business"....
End part II
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| Paparazzi 1/3 |
[16 Nov 2004|09:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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ill |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Simple Plan- Me against the world |
] |
Title: Paparazzi Part 1.
Rating: PG-13 for language. Mild and jokey suicide theme.
Summary: I hate Paparazzi, so do Billy and Dom, this, of course, leads to inevitable fluff and cuteness!
Disclaimer: If it's true I'll be both thrilled and freaked out, seeing as this is completely made up off the top of my head imaginary bullshit fictional etc etc.
Feedback: In the words of the great anemptymargin: "is like crack to me".
---
Paparazzi
A dialogue script by Peregrin
"Oh bugger fuck bugger"
"hmm?"
"bloody paparazzi pictures"
"what did they get?"
"let's see: 'Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan take a romantic walk in the park.' Well now that's fascinating isn't it Bill? Can see why they'd be rushing to get pictures of that can you?"
"hmm definately, really, riveting stuff"
"hehe. Oh, fuck"
"what?"
"..."
"Dommie I don't like that silence what do they have?"
"remember we got ice creams just for the sheer childishness of it?"
"yeah"
"well...they have that..."
"oh? well...that's not too bad"
"..."
"silence again Dom"
"we have a long way to go yet babe"
"oh...ok shoot...and, hand me a gun so I can shoot myself when they're finished"
"hee!"
"s'not funny"
"it is"
"you're giggling like a girl,...stop it it's scaring me"
"eh eh eh. Ok...shall I continue?"
"are you aware that you may have my suicide on your conscience by the end?"
"yup"
"then by all means do"
"ok. The next. 'Monaghan and Boyd sit down in a romantic spot beneath a large tree'"
"wasn't that large tree leafless and dead?"
"yeah I think they just like using the word 'romantic'"
"quite pathetic, really"
"and onward. This is where it get's bad"
"oh hell, fire away"
"well, remember you got ice cream on your nose?"
"You got ice cream on my nose mister Monaghan"
"Hehe, ohhh I like that tone of voice"
"quiet you"
"well, remember I-"
"swiped it off with your finger"
"yup, they have that"
"I don't like the way this is progressing"
"You did at the time"
"Hehe! Shut up and tell"
"Ok. You then sucked my finger, until all the ice cream came off"
"oh God no,...excuse me while I load my pistol"
"hee!"
"you seem to find the idea of my killing myself very amusing sweetheart should I worry?"
"ok and moving on!"
"ok I should worry"
"do you remember what happened after you sucked my finger?"
"...yes...oh no...they don't have that? Do they?"
"yes they seem to have no concept of the words personal and private"
"wankers"
"anyway. Yes. Then I put some more ice cream on your nose"
"You did. I hit you"
"Didn't hurt either, you hit like a girl"
"says mister Gay UK himself"
"oh be quiet you, and stop stalling"
"you're the one stalling!"
"meh, maybe, ok 'a feisty Monaghan then licked the ice cream from Boyd's nose with flare and flourish'"
"feisty? flare? flourish? Who are these guys?!"
"Paid stalkers? At a wild guess?"
"good answer good answer"
"oh! oh! did I just hear the click of a pistol William?"
"you did"
"ah well, shame really, you had such a promising future ahead of you"
"I did didn't I?"
"yup. moving on"
"oh God there's more, remind me to punch you next time you try to lick me in public"
"haha, ok, will do. Right, next up. Remember after I licked ice cream off your nose? I kissed you"
"you did, a very nice kiss, really"
"it was wasn't it?"
"move on"
"ok. and the next. oh, well they have about fifty different angles of the kiss"
"bloody hell I hate these guys"
"we all do. They then have about three shots of you with your head in my lap"
"...dodgy or non-dodgy?"
"haha! non-dodgy!"
"thank the good Lord"
"indeed. Awww look I'm stroking your hair, aren't we just the cutest little couple?"
"oh yeah Dom, it'll make such a nice addition to the family album"
"heee!"
"hilarious I'm sure"
"it really is, well, that's the end"
"bang bang I'm dead fifty bullets to my-"
"your pistol has fifty bullets?"
"it's a big pistol"
"ok then, fair enough I guess, try not to bleed on anything unwashable"
"ok"
"..."
"..."
"you dead yet?"
"nah, decided my future was just too promising to die"
"well, that's good I suppose, I do care about you rather alot to have to lose you at such a young age"
"hmm...I love you, where are you? I'm bored, and lonely, feels weird being so distant from you"
"wish I could be in London with you"
"I do too"
"..."
"where are you anyway? You never answered me"
"..."
"Dommie?"
"I'm standing in a studio watching the most handsome man in all the world talking on his cell phone to some obnoxious git who was going to stay in LA and let him come to London all alone. Oh look he's turning round"
"aieeeeeeeeeee! Dommie! What are you doing here!? You're meant to be filming!"
"ow! ow my ear! and God you weigh alot!...we finished filming early and I missed you"
"oo will you look at that! The moment just sped out the door! Speedy little beggar isn't it?"
"mm...ok...deal, keep kissing my neck like that, the moment stays intact"
"deal"
"..."
"..."
"...mmm...I suppose I'd better kiss you now"
"you really should"
"ok and hey"
"mmm?"
"I love you too"
The end...well...not quite
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